Maybe this is a cop out but I can't put this letter on any one person. There have been so many people over the years and some of you have devastated me. My words can not fully express the pain you have caused and how it has shaped me today. You can have some Alice Cooper, instead. This about sums up my feelings.
"only women bleed"
man's got his woman
to take his seed
he's got the power mmmhmm
she got the need
spends her life through
pleasing up her man
she feeds him dinner
yeah, anything she can
she cries alone at night too often
he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
only women bleed
only women bleed
only women bleed
only women...
only women bleed
only women bleed
man make your hair gray
he your life's mistake
all you're really lookin' for
is an even break, 'cause
he lies right at you
you know you hate his game
slaps you once in a while
and you live and love in pain
she cries alone at night too often
he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
only women bleed
only women bleed
only women mmmm...
only women bleed, you know
eehh, sweet..sweet mmmmmm....
he lies right at you
you know you hate this game
slaps you once in a while
and you live and love in pain
she cries alone at night too often
she smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
only women bleed
only women bleed
only womennmmmmm...
only women bleed
only womennmmmmm..mmmm..
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 11: A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To
Grandma,
I never got to meet you, but my daddy says you were wonderful. I wonder about you a lot... what kinds of things you liked, what you looked like, what you smelled like, whether you would like me... I know my daddy misses you a lot and you were so important to him. No one really talks about you much because I think it makes them sad. All of my brothers and sisters got to meet you and at least they have some memory. I have a blurry picture of you and that's all. This year I am going to try really hard to find out more about you and ask more questions. I want to be able to tell my children about you, too.
My other grandma was really awesome and I would like to think that she gave me the love of two grandmas because you couldn't be there. I wonder how different you guys were. Would you have taught me to cook and make southern things? What kinds of things would have been important to you for me to know?
I know you have a lot of grandchildren but I hope you keep an eye out on me, even though you never knew me.
Love,
Charity
I never got to meet you, but my daddy says you were wonderful. I wonder about you a lot... what kinds of things you liked, what you looked like, what you smelled like, whether you would like me... I know my daddy misses you a lot and you were so important to him. No one really talks about you much because I think it makes them sad. All of my brothers and sisters got to meet you and at least they have some memory. I have a blurry picture of you and that's all. This year I am going to try really hard to find out more about you and ask more questions. I want to be able to tell my children about you, too.
My other grandma was really awesome and I would like to think that she gave me the love of two grandmas because you couldn't be there. I wonder how different you guys were. Would you have taught me to cook and make southern things? What kinds of things would have been important to you for me to know?
I know you have a lot of grandchildren but I hope you keep an eye out on me, even though you never knew me.
Love,
Charity
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 10: Someone You Don't Talk To As Much As You Would Like To
Jennifer,
I miss talking with you every day. I miss sitting on the back porch and just decompressing about our shitty days. I miss Mr. Gatti's pizza nights and Dos Flores lunches. You have this way of cutting through all the bullshit and getting down to the root of an issue. You never fail to but things into crystal clear perspective for me, and that is one of the things I most love about you. A lot of people don't get you, but I think I do. I stand by my previous assertions that you really are a big mush ball inside.
Even though we don't talk as much as we used to, the quality of our conversations hasn't changed. I know that you will still put me in my place and be 100% honest all the time. I just wanted to thank you and tell you how much I love you. You are such a good friend.
I hope you can come and visit soon and we will take that trip to the swamp that we have been planning for so long. I miss you lots!
Love,
C.
I miss talking with you every day. I miss sitting on the back porch and just decompressing about our shitty days. I miss Mr. Gatti's pizza nights and Dos Flores lunches. You have this way of cutting through all the bullshit and getting down to the root of an issue. You never fail to but things into crystal clear perspective for me, and that is one of the things I most love about you. A lot of people don't get you, but I think I do. I stand by my previous assertions that you really are a big mush ball inside.
Even though we don't talk as much as we used to, the quality of our conversations hasn't changed. I know that you will still put me in my place and be 100% honest all the time. I just wanted to thank you and tell you how much I love you. You are such a good friend.
I hope you can come and visit soon and we will take that trip to the swamp that we have been planning for so long. I miss you lots!
Love,
C.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 9: Someone You Wish You Could Meet
This is a awkward letter to write because it's so personal. I don't want to say your name but there are so many things I would like to tell you. I will never get to meet you, not in this life anyway. Yet, I owe so much to you and there aren't enough words to express my gratitude.
I want to say thank you. I don't know if there is a heaven or what happens when we die, but I hope that you are looking down and checking in on us from time to time. I hope you see what a good job you did and what a phenomenal man your child has turned out to be. Your impact on him helped make him who he is today, and that is someone I love very much. He is a good man, an honest and dependable man. He amazes me every single day and is so full of love and life. I wish we could share the excitement of our relationship with you. He says you would like me. I hope you would.
I want you to know that I will always love him and take care of him. I will be honest and treat him with love and respect. I could never ever replace you, and I don't want to, but I will be there for him because you can't be. If you are looking down on him, please keep him safe and bring him home to me.
- Charity
I want to say thank you. I don't know if there is a heaven or what happens when we die, but I hope that you are looking down and checking in on us from time to time. I hope you see what a good job you did and what a phenomenal man your child has turned out to be. Your impact on him helped make him who he is today, and that is someone I love very much. He is a good man, an honest and dependable man. He amazes me every single day and is so full of love and life. I wish we could share the excitement of our relationship with you. He says you would like me. I hope you would.
I want you to know that I will always love him and take care of him. I will be honest and treat him with love and respect. I could never ever replace you, and I don't want to, but I will be there for him because you can't be. If you are looking down on him, please keep him safe and bring him home to me.
- Charity
Monday, May 23, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 8: My Favorite Internet Friend
Dear Cissy,
Yes, this letter is for you. You are officially my favorite internet friend. I am so glad I have gotten to know you. Your facebook posts make me laugh and you are always there with a helpful comment or a "like." I really want to tell you how much your encouragement means some times. I know it sounds silly because we only see one another once or twice per year or so and I didn't really even know you until I was an adult. I really enjoy reading what you have to say and your kind thoughts have helped me through this difficult year. I'm really glad you got to meet the Lt. so you can understand why I am so smitten.
Thank you for all the facebook messages and the texts. They really really mean a lot. I don't really know many people from my grandma's side of the family. I never got to meet her... Maybe one day you can tell me some stories (but not like the stories Daddy tells because I don't know how much of those I can believe!)
Both you and Spring keep me very entertained. I can't wait to see you guys at the reunion! I'll bring the salsa!
Love you,
Charity
Yes, this letter is for you. You are officially my favorite internet friend. I am so glad I have gotten to know you. Your facebook posts make me laugh and you are always there with a helpful comment or a "like." I really want to tell you how much your encouragement means some times. I know it sounds silly because we only see one another once or twice per year or so and I didn't really even know you until I was an adult. I really enjoy reading what you have to say and your kind thoughts have helped me through this difficult year. I'm really glad you got to meet the Lt. so you can understand why I am so smitten.
Thank you for all the facebook messages and the texts. They really really mean a lot. I don't really know many people from my grandma's side of the family. I never got to meet her... Maybe one day you can tell me some stories (but not like the stories Daddy tells because I don't know how much of those I can believe!)
Both you and Spring keep me very entertained. I can't wait to see you guys at the reunion! I'll bring the salsa!
Love you,
Charity
Sunday, May 22, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 7 (Okay really, who is counting at this point...): An Ex
To Whom it May Concern:
No. You don't get a name. This letter will be as brief and impersonal as possible because to be honest, you don't deserve any more of my time.
Let me just start by giving out a great big WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Whew! What a bullet I dodged! I am so glad I did not end up with you!!!!!
I could fill this letter up with so much maliciousness, but really what is the point? I don't have to because (here's the secret in case you haven't figured it out...) I won. I ended up with everything I ever wanted and none of the nonsense you brought to the table. Last I heard, you had finished up a stint in rehab and were dating some trashy stripper. I'm sure your life is still in chaos because that's what you thrive in. I'm just so glad you moved away and I got the opportunity to see what a douche bag you really are. You also helped me see everything I don't want in a man and allowed me to fully appreciate what a phenomenal love I have now.
I could say I wish you nothing but the best, but that would be a complete and total lie. I want nothing more than to never hear your name or see your face again. I'm not angry, I'm just so over it and it's not worth a second more of my time.
Toodles,
Charity
No. You don't get a name. This letter will be as brief and impersonal as possible because to be honest, you don't deserve any more of my time.
Let me just start by giving out a great big WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Whew! What a bullet I dodged! I am so glad I did not end up with you!!!!!
I could fill this letter up with so much maliciousness, but really what is the point? I don't have to because (here's the secret in case you haven't figured it out...) I won. I ended up with everything I ever wanted and none of the nonsense you brought to the table. Last I heard, you had finished up a stint in rehab and were dating some trashy stripper. I'm sure your life is still in chaos because that's what you thrive in. I'm just so glad you moved away and I got the opportunity to see what a douche bag you really are. You also helped me see everything I don't want in a man and allowed me to fully appreciate what a phenomenal love I have now.
I could say I wish you nothing but the best, but that would be a complete and total lie. I want nothing more than to never hear your name or see your face again. I'm not angry, I'm just so over it and it's not worth a second more of my time.
Toodles,
Charity
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 6: A Stranger
Dear Wal-Mart Cashier I met tonight,
I delayed writing this letter for a long time, not because I was busy or forgot but because I couldn't figure out who I wanted to write to. I meet new people every day and maybe I'm just hard to impress but none of them inspired me. I didn't want to waste a letter so I put off writing this until I had something to say.
You probably don't even realize what an impact you had on me. I firmly people that random people pop in and out of our lives for a purpose. Now, I'm not a religious person - call it fate or what have you - but I truly believe there was a reason I chose your checkout line tonight. Our conversation was brief but it gave me some much needed encouragement when I was just having one of those days.
What you said was "Wow. If I ate like you maybe I could lose some of this weight." What I heard you say was "Don't stop what you are doing. You are doing the right thing and making positive changes in your life. Your efforts are not in vain." I needed to hear that today. Today I was frustrated with the scale. I was tired and sore and just spent. I was questioning if all this working out, label reading, and denying myself of foods I love was really worth it. I wanted to have a Big Mac. You're simple words, which really weren't much at all, served as the affirmation I needed, so thank you.
My weight issues didn't start a year or two ago. I have spent the last eleven years ruining my body with processed and fast foods, unaware of the damage I was really doing. I'm at the point of no return. I'm either going to make life changes to be healthy or I am going to die of some terrible disease related to obesity. That's just the truth. It's hard to read and even harder to write. No one wants to be called obese, certainly not me. I'm not making these changes to look better. I need to feel better. I need to not be sick anymore. I lost sight of that today and you helped bring me back to where I need to be, mentally. I hope I was able to give you a few tips that seem to be working for me. I wish you the very best of luck and encourage you not to give up. It is not worth the suffering of being unhealthy to have that cheeseburger, that chocolate bar, that lasagna. Keep your chin up.
- Charity
I delayed writing this letter for a long time, not because I was busy or forgot but because I couldn't figure out who I wanted to write to. I meet new people every day and maybe I'm just hard to impress but none of them inspired me. I didn't want to waste a letter so I put off writing this until I had something to say.
You probably don't even realize what an impact you had on me. I firmly people that random people pop in and out of our lives for a purpose. Now, I'm not a religious person - call it fate or what have you - but I truly believe there was a reason I chose your checkout line tonight. Our conversation was brief but it gave me some much needed encouragement when I was just having one of those days.
What you said was "Wow. If I ate like you maybe I could lose some of this weight." What I heard you say was "Don't stop what you are doing. You are doing the right thing and making positive changes in your life. Your efforts are not in vain." I needed to hear that today. Today I was frustrated with the scale. I was tired and sore and just spent. I was questioning if all this working out, label reading, and denying myself of foods I love was really worth it. I wanted to have a Big Mac. You're simple words, which really weren't much at all, served as the affirmation I needed, so thank you.
My weight issues didn't start a year or two ago. I have spent the last eleven years ruining my body with processed and fast foods, unaware of the damage I was really doing. I'm at the point of no return. I'm either going to make life changes to be healthy or I am going to die of some terrible disease related to obesity. That's just the truth. It's hard to read and even harder to write. No one wants to be called obese, certainly not me. I'm not making these changes to look better. I need to feel better. I need to not be sick anymore. I lost sight of that today and you helped bring me back to where I need to be, mentally. I hope I was able to give you a few tips that seem to be working for me. I wish you the very best of luck and encourage you not to give up. It is not worth the suffering of being unhealthy to have that cheeseburger, that chocolate bar, that lasagna. Keep your chin up.
- Charity
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