Mom and Dad,
This might just be the hardest letter for me to write. I can't say you were the best parents, but I also can't say you were the worst either. I would like to say you did the best you could with what you had given the circumstances, but that isn't true either. The truth is there were things you screwed up pretty bad sometimes. I'm sure I wasn't the easiest child to parent at times either. You were not perfect parents and I have forgiven you for those icky times.
I'm sorry I was a jerk for so many years. I was very angry with you for a long time and distanced myself from you. I have said and done things to you that I regret and can never take back. Thank you for continuing to love me even when I didn't deserve it.
I could not have made it these last few years without you. You've been a constant support through everything from divorce and losing everything to getting back on my feet and dealing with Jimmy's deployment. I know that when I need you, you will be there.
Everyday I see parents who throw their kids away and I want to thank you for never throwing me away. We may not have had much but you made sure I was always clean and I never went hungry. You never dumped me off and told someone else to take responsibility for me. You never let anyone hurt me.
I credit a great deal of who I am to values you instilled in me: generosity and kindness towards others; service to the community; pride and work ethic; family values. I am so grateful for everything you've taught me and helped me become.
I love you guys so much.
- Charity
Monday, January 17, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 2: My Love
Jimmy,
I was really excited to see that I get to write a letter to you today! I could write this letter forever and never fully convey all the things you mean to me...
Meeting you changed my life. From the very first day we clicked and each day just gets better and better. Every time my heart is bursting with love for you I think, "I can not possibly love anyone more than this." And then I find myself falling more and more in love with you. You are, without a doubt, THE love of my life. I have never known anything like this and I can't imagine anything better than this.
Before I met you I felt as though there was this void in my life, this hole that could not be filled no matter how hard I (and others) tried. I could never just be me with someone until I met you. I put up so many walls and defenses but you just walked right through them and into my heart. You have been so real and upfront about everything, allowing me to see the real you from the beginning with no gimmicks or facades. You've kept every promise and never given me even the tiniest reason to doubt you or mistrust you. You are the real deal and they just don't make them like you any more. I have searched my entire life for someone who makes me feel the way that you make me feel and I am so glad I don't have to look anymore. I have found everything I could ever dream of with you.
I am so happy to have fallen in love with my friend. I love that we can be partners and lovers and friends - the whole package. I love laughing and being silly with you. We have more in common than most people would think given how we come from such different backgrounds. We share a unique cool nerdiness that few can pull off. And I can kick your ass in Lord of Rings Trivia!!!!
I miss you everyday. You are never out of my thoughts and always in my heart. I understand why you had to go, but it doesn't stop me from constantly wishing you were here. I try not to worry too much, but I worry because I don't want to lose the best thing I've ever had. I am so looking forward to making more memories with you.
Most of all I want to thank you for showing me what it means to really live. I think a lot of people (I was one of them) go through life and they aren't really happy and they have no idea how to achieve happiness. I certainly looked for it in a lot of places and tried so hard to make happiness happen. You made being happy as easy as breathing. You have thought me to be grateful for each moment and to appreciate the small things in life. I now live in the moment and enjoy each and every moment because you are with me, no matter where you are.
I love you so very much.
- Charity
I was really excited to see that I get to write a letter to you today! I could write this letter forever and never fully convey all the things you mean to me...
Meeting you changed my life. From the very first day we clicked and each day just gets better and better. Every time my heart is bursting with love for you I think, "I can not possibly love anyone more than this." And then I find myself falling more and more in love with you. You are, without a doubt, THE love of my life. I have never known anything like this and I can't imagine anything better than this.
Before I met you I felt as though there was this void in my life, this hole that could not be filled no matter how hard I (and others) tried. I could never just be me with someone until I met you. I put up so many walls and defenses but you just walked right through them and into my heart. You have been so real and upfront about everything, allowing me to see the real you from the beginning with no gimmicks or facades. You've kept every promise and never given me even the tiniest reason to doubt you or mistrust you. You are the real deal and they just don't make them like you any more. I have searched my entire life for someone who makes me feel the way that you make me feel and I am so glad I don't have to look anymore. I have found everything I could ever dream of with you.
I am so happy to have fallen in love with my friend. I love that we can be partners and lovers and friends - the whole package. I love laughing and being silly with you. We have more in common than most people would think given how we come from such different backgrounds. We share a unique cool nerdiness that few can pull off. And I can kick your ass in Lord of Rings Trivia!!!!
I miss you everyday. You are never out of my thoughts and always in my heart. I understand why you had to go, but it doesn't stop me from constantly wishing you were here. I try not to worry too much, but I worry because I don't want to lose the best thing I've ever had. I am so looking forward to making more memories with you.
Most of all I want to thank you for showing me what it means to really live. I think a lot of people (I was one of them) go through life and they aren't really happy and they have no idea how to achieve happiness. I certainly looked for it in a lot of places and tried so hard to make happiness happen. You made being happy as easy as breathing. You have thought me to be grateful for each moment and to appreciate the small things in life. I now live in the moment and enjoy each and every moment because you are with me, no matter where you are.
I love you so very much.
- Charity
Saturday, January 15, 2011
30 Letters in 30 days - Day 1: My Best Friend
Angela,
We are not the friends we used to be. Time and distance and insanity (on both our parts?) has changed and worn our relationship. Like a pair of old blue jeans, there are tatters, frays, rips, fades... Sometimes the jeans don't fit the way they used to. But they are still my favorite pair of jeans.
More than anyone in the entire world, you get me. We get each other. We are more alike that we would ever admit and as different as night and day. We've fought like cats and dogs and said terrible things to one another. We meant them, too. But we always come around back to our friendship because in the end, we get each other.
The experience I shared with you during the summer of 2009 will always be with me. You saved my life. If it hadn't been for you pushing and insisting and being there for me... I know this left a deep scar on our friendship and exhausted you. I regret that but I am so grateful for your being there for me. I could never ever repay you.
Lately we don't talk much. I know you are so tired and struggling and I wish I could be there for you like you were for me. Geographically, this is impossible. I miss talking and laughing with you. I miss lunch dates and karaoke and smore making with you.
I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much. You are like the little sister I never had. I hope that one day we can patch these jeans and have the friendship we had before everything went crazy. I've never had many friends, always preferring to have a few good ones to a ton of just so so friends. You are the best friend I have ever had.
I'm sorry for all the things I've said and done that hurt you. I hope you can look at the situation I was in and understand the place I was coming from wasn't a healthy one. I know that doesn't excuse those things and "I'm sorry" doesn't feel like enough, but that's all I can do.
I miss you so much.
- Charity
We are not the friends we used to be. Time and distance and insanity (on both our parts?) has changed and worn our relationship. Like a pair of old blue jeans, there are tatters, frays, rips, fades... Sometimes the jeans don't fit the way they used to. But they are still my favorite pair of jeans.
More than anyone in the entire world, you get me. We get each other. We are more alike that we would ever admit and as different as night and day. We've fought like cats and dogs and said terrible things to one another. We meant them, too. But we always come around back to our friendship because in the end, we get each other.
The experience I shared with you during the summer of 2009 will always be with me. You saved my life. If it hadn't been for you pushing and insisting and being there for me... I know this left a deep scar on our friendship and exhausted you. I regret that but I am so grateful for your being there for me. I could never ever repay you.
Lately we don't talk much. I know you are so tired and struggling and I wish I could be there for you like you were for me. Geographically, this is impossible. I miss talking and laughing with you. I miss lunch dates and karaoke and smore making with you.
I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much. You are like the little sister I never had. I hope that one day we can patch these jeans and have the friendship we had before everything went crazy. I've never had many friends, always preferring to have a few good ones to a ton of just so so friends. You are the best friend I have ever had.
I'm sorry for all the things I've said and done that hurt you. I hope you can look at the situation I was in and understand the place I was coming from wasn't a healthy one. I know that doesn't excuse those things and "I'm sorry" doesn't feel like enough, but that's all I can do.
I miss you so much.
- Charity
30 Letters in 30 days
Anyone who knows me and knows my friend Brandon knows we are two peas in a pod. What one does, the other is likely to do... We've followed one another to jobs (the good, bad, and ugly) and in and out of various trends and obsessions throughout the years.
Recently Brandon started a blog and began to write 30 letters in 30 days to various people who have touched his life. As I read through each letter I was moved by the honesty and intimacy he expressed with his writings. I, too, was inspired to take on this project and see it as an amazing opportunity for personal growth.
It will be fun to see who these letters will go to... If nothing else, this is a great opportunity to write again, which is something I've really missed doing.
- Charity
Recently Brandon started a blog and began to write 30 letters in 30 days to various people who have touched his life. As I read through each letter I was moved by the honesty and intimacy he expressed with his writings. I, too, was inspired to take on this project and see it as an amazing opportunity for personal growth.
It will be fun to see who these letters will go to... If nothing else, this is a great opportunity to write again, which is something I've really missed doing.
- Charity
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